Self Love, Mindset, Letting Go, Heart Centered, Spirituality
"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better." ~Maya Angelou
Simple Ways You Can Invite Forgiveness Into Your Life.
I Invite you to take a close look into my personal journey and reflection.
This past week forgiveness has been coming up for me in conversations, articles, podcasts and other unexpected ways. My intuition has been screaming at me this week to sit with what feelings around forgiveness are coming up for me personally.
The word FORGIVENESS began triggering me!
I wanted to Ignore the pulling of my soul to really dig in and find out what or who I need to forgive. As I started to pull away more, the louder Forgiveness was. So loud, that I could hear it over my own thoughts.
I politely mumbled I don’t have time to do the work this week and I realized if I did not push through and explore what forgiveness had to say. I would certainly miss out on the lesson completely then experience the dreaded repeating the lesson would occur. Fine, I said out loud as to expect a response and I grabbed my journal to get to work.
So as I started to invite forgiveness in not knowing what to expect I have definitely been on a journey this week and not one I would have ever been on if I ignored the yearning of my soul to explore.
One practice I do daily is I absolutely try viewing myself and everyone with the awareness that we are all doing the best we can with what we have and our knowledge around a situation at any given time. But that does not give a free pass to someone, this allows me to give compassion but set boundaries.
As I sat with the energy of Forgiveness, I started to cry as I realized who I needed to forgive. It wasn’t family, it wasn’t friends, it wasn’t my past or the person who cut me off on the freeway earlier.
It was me, All of me. The past, the present and the Future, Me!!!
Shocked, I started to really lean in and listen to my intuition and let the words and lessons flow onto the pages of the journal.
At the end of my journaling I realized I had to forgive myself for where I thought I should be in my business, and the reality of where I am at. I forgave myself and let go of trying to control and plan. And here I am, pushing past the fear of writing my first blog. And embracing my flaws and all. Perfectly, Imperfect. As I let go of the need to control where I am at, things started to flow and I realized I could let go of the uncomfortable need to push forward. I have forgiven myself completely, and fully, embracing my future ahead. I am curious and excited to see what lies ahead. So I wrote in my journal this little reminder. I hereby declare I, Heather Grace will no longer allow myself to be critical of myself and stop waiting for it to be perfect. There is none to higher of an expectation of myself and a role I cannot fill. By asking myself to be perfect. What a great opportunity to surrender.This has been a whirlwind of a lesson but so glad I had the courage to take the journey and listen to what forgiveness had to say and how I could apply to my life and business.
So now I want to share with you ways to invite Forgiveness in your life, straight from my personal journal. Whether you need to forgive yourself or family or friends or a stranger who may have hurt you. It can all apply the same.
I will also place a disclaimer that I am not the best with punctuation. I am learning and certainly didn’t want this to hold me back from sharing and creating this blog today. So please forgive me!
Forgiveness Requires Gratitude! Personally I find having gratitude for where I am at, and the lessons I am learning. And the wisdom I am gaining through any challenging situation. It helps as I write and connect with my gratitude journal daily. This helps me to let go of grudges. I believe if we find gratitude for the challenges, Forgiveness comes easy.
Compassion and grace. I needed to remind myself to have compassion for myself. As a Self-Love Coach I often talk about the importance of Self Care and Self-Love. But sometimes I slip and forget to truly walk in my talk about Self Love, Compassion and Grace. Grace is a gentle reminder to myself that Grace Wins. And to not always say the angry things to others and in this case myself. I can be very critical of myself, with my weight, past decisions, am I being a good enough mother? Am I doing the right things in my relationship? And while having interactions with others, I gently remind myself to have Grace. And Compassion allows me to take a minute and take a deep breath. And maybe not say the things that I may want to say when I first get angry to someone. That is because maybe I love them or respect them. And I don’t want to just outright hurt them. So keeping Compassion and Grace as one of my secret tools is a way to invite forgiveness in when I feel wronged in some way.
Self -Awareness is important when I start going down the path of no return. I simply invite myself to pull back and feel. To not disengage with my triggers and to have the self-awareness to not engage in someone else’s angry outbursts. Or even triggers especially, when they are directed at me. I simply remind myself that I have the choice to shut social media down, my cell phone, my email. Or even leave the house or whatever the situation may be so I can be alone with my thoughts and do through the process of healing my triggers.
Who are my supporters? This is a questions I will ask myself when I need to explore my feelings. Who can I go to in my time of need? Kloey, my shih tzu, who is extremely happy when I crawl in bed and snuggle with her is always ready and willing to be my biggest supporter. Her nickname is Mama, because she has been such a healer to me on so many levels. My fiancé is my rock, he always challenges me to think deeper and will gently remind me when he thinks I am just not seeing things past my own anger. I respect that. But he allows me to talk and be that soundboard and listen and often times after having that support I feel so much better because I have been heard and supported and I can now move on and invite forgiveness in.
When I need to feel supported and no one is around to offer that or be that for me. Then I will reach out and support someone. This often instantly lifts me up and allows me to be there for someone during their time of need and they feel supported and then naturally I feel supported.
I love to journal. Most of my healing happens in my journaling experience. This allows me to connect to my real and raw feelings and I don’t have to share with anyone. In fact I can shred or burn the paper(safely) after I journal and release everything I wrote down. This allows me to express myself in my own way that I can understand. And I don’t have to censor what I say. This often leads me to a lot of ah ha moments. I also just recently bought a book by Katie Dalebout Let It Out, A Journey through Journaling. And what have had an amazing transformation with this book alone.
But I also love the energy of freewriting and letting the words come as they are and not judging what I write and express. I will write letters to loved ones who have hurt me, friends, personal situations and really anything that needs to come off my shoulders that have been bearing weight. My journal is sacred and is under lock and key.
“In quietness are all things answered,”
A Course in Miracles
Reaching out to someone I need to forgive or even needs to forgive me is often powerful. Just this simple act alone allows the walls to come down and reconnection can happen if someone is open. Sometimes being the first one to reach out is the hardest, especially when there is a possibility of rejection. But reaching out, with no expectations, and being respectful of the answer has worked for me to invite forgiveness in. And because sometimes it takes that person a couple days to process after initial contact that may result in anger or a direct no. But they may soften and reach out and start the conversation to healing. But if you receive rejection then you know in your heart of hearts you extended the olive tree branch and did the best you can. This is when I will go back to my journal, especially when rejection happens, so I don’t internalize it and make it about me. I remind myself of the quote above We are all doing the best we can with the awareness we have. Having compassion for where they are at allows forgiveness to happen even if it is at a level we can only see.
A Course in Miracles gives the definition of forgiveness as the only workable path to happiness.
Getting out of a fixed mindset and into a growth mindset has been essential for my forgiveness journey. If I happen to stay in a fixed mindset then I cannot see beyond my perspective. And then there is no growth and I can stay in an angry, depressed, etc state of mind or emotions state. Having growth mindset moves me forward and allows me to observe. And also lets go of my need to be right and forgiveness can occur naturally just by this change alone.
Staying present and not checking out when I would rather bury my head in a pillow is so important. Being present with whatever feelings come up. As a general rule I allow myself one day to be human and experience that emotion in whatever way I need to. But the next day I will do the work and start the road to forgiveness however that looks for current situation.
Release now this is a tough one because I have done the work to invite forgiveness in. And now when triggers come up, I can be reminded of the situation. And then maybe fall back into habits that will sometimes bring up the same feelings. And continue to reveal layers that still need to be worked through. And for several situations I may have to keep forgiving but working through these steps till I feel a sense of relief.
I love affirmations and these helped me and if you feel called to use print them out, write them down, tape them to your mirror however you are called to use them. These are the affirmations that helped change my fixed mindset to a growth mindset and are a tool I use on a daily basis.
As I forgive myself I begin to forgive others.
I forgive everyone from my life in the past and love myself into the future.
I allow myself to be forgiven.
I forgive myself for believing in old thought patterns.
I forgive myself for all the wrong doings I feel I may have done.
I forgive myself for choices from anger.
I forgive myself completely.
I forgive myself for not wanting to forgive.
I forgive myself for my judgements of others.
I forgive myself for ignoring who I am.
I choose to forgive myself for old limiting beliefs that do not serve me today.
I let go of the past and correct the present.
I forgive my mistakes and the mistakes of others.
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